This too shall pass

Hey mama,

Hang in there ‘cos..

This too shall pass.

You won’t always be suffering from sickness, heartburn, sciatica, peeing every minute or pregnancy insomnia. There will come a day when..

This too shall pass.

All those vomit stained tops, eye bags, hourly feeds and poo explosions won’t be around forever..

This too shall pass.

Those dreaded dragged out bed times, sleepless nights, midnight wake ups, bed wetting, kicks in the head, feet in the ribs, early mornings will also one day fade..

This too shall pass.

The patting, rocking, swaying, pram pushing, car rides, dummy, comforter, white noise tricks wont always be needed..

This too shall pass.

The terrible twos, threenager, fournado, tantrums, negotiations, hair pulling, biting, and all out crazy kid behaviour will vanish..

This too shall pass.

The strong need for botomless pits of coffee, tea, wine, “anything to get me through this day” will diminish..

This too shall pass.

You won’t always be googling late at night, scrolling through endless articles or monitoring leaps, thunderstorms and other crazy regressions as..

This too shall pass.

Every stage is temporary.

Every confusing moment will one day become clear.

Every sleepless night will one day no longer be.

Every moment of doubt,

Every tear,

Every tantrum,

Every moment of defeat,

Is temporary.

And YES in those moments it’s hard, SO hard, to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

But it’s there.

Shining ever so dimly waiting for you.

So next time you feel frustrated, overwhelmed, confused or simply over it….

Take a deep breath and remember…

Sending you love,

MBS

xx

Sleep tips…we all need them!

Getting your little ones sleep back on track or on track to begin with can be a difficult task!

This is something I’ve struggled with for many months (closer to a year) now. My perfect little sleepers have been waking constantly and will only sleep if we co-sleep. We’ve never coslept before so all my ideals of cuddling them beautifully throughout the night were crushed with all the rib kicks, toes in my face and NO more couple time.

So when Tara from The Gentle Sleep Specialist reached out I was thrilled to receive some tips to get our sleeping back on track!

Tara Mitchell is a paediatric nurse, qualified infant and toddler sleep consultant and mother. She has created a successful business that allows her to guide, educate and support parents to create healthy sleep habits with their little ones.

“I pride myself on the support my clients receive and my compassionate, caring nature enables me to establish life changing results that brings much needed sleep for physical, emotional and mental wellbeing of the child and parents.”

Below she shares with you her top tips to get back on track.

Has sleep gone wayside for your little ones? If your little ones sleep isn’t quite what it used to be or what you would like it to be here are some tips to get you back into the swing of a good night’s sleep!

1. Pick the right time. If you have a jam packed weekend ahead or are still in the thick of Christmas events, it’s probably not the best time to make change. Choose a good day to get back on track and commit to it. Plan to keep the week following as low key as possible.

2. Have a solid plan and make sure everyone is on board. Consistency is key when trying to bring in or get back healthy sleep habits and routine. If one parent is doing one thing and the other something different, it can get really messy. Children learn through consistency and repetition, if you have a solid plan in place that you feel comfortable with, your little one will not only learn quicker, they will also sense your confidence throughout the process. This will in turn make the process a lot more effective.

3. It is so important your little one isn’t getting drowsy or an opportunity to get a second wind in the bedtime process. As an example, toddlers are notorious for lying down on the couch with their milk and having some time in front of the tv right before bed. It is not uncommon to then see them ditch their milk, jump up and appear to be ready to go again. The same goes with babies too, if they are drowsy on their feed right before bed, it can mean that when that finishes and you attempt to put them down they are rested and think they are ready for play.

4. I recommend making changes from the beginning of the night, so from the bedtime routine. Make sure your routine is strong. If your toddler has a habit of trying to ask for more and stretch the rules, create a chart that has the bedtime routine list in steps, then as each one is completed they put a stamp in the box next to it. “Right you’ve been to the toilet or had a drink, pop a stamp down”. This helps to re-confirm to them they have done that particular activity and is a great thing to refer back to and show them when they ask for “one more drink”.

Need more help?

You can contact Tara through the links below:

Facebook & Instagram – The Gentle Sleep Specialist to receive updates with great advice on children’s sleep.

Otherwise, contact me through my website www.gentlesleep.com.au to find out more.

Tara.

Many thanks to Tara for the tips.

Sending you love,

MBS

xx

Let’s Talk….ME TIME

Let’s Talk…

ME TIME!

We all know that the realm of motherhood often takes over every aspect of your life, but it is SO important to still take care of YOU. 

Taking time for yourself everyday, every week or every once in a while gives you the break you need to recharge and continue being the best parent you can be.

It may be as simple as 5 minutes every day or 5 hours out and about a month.

 So, what does your “me time” look like?

Sending you love,

MBS

xx

Let’s talk….. BIRTH

Let’s talk…birth stories.

Experience is the best teacher and with the abundance of contradictory facts out there, I find it settling to learn and listen to real life experiences. (Keeping in mind everyone is different)

Help a mum to be out, by sharing your stories in the comments below. Here’s a few questions to get you started:

My labour was…….. min/hours/days

I had a birth plan……

I USED my birth plan…..

I took some sort of pain relief offered…..

During labour I swore I’d never have another child (but I did)……

If I could tell you ONE thing about birth it would be……
Leave your replies below 👇 
Sending you love,

MBS 

xx

Missing you

Do you ever miss your husband/partner/significant other?

Like ACTUALLY miss them?

Mines currently sitting next to me, so I’m not referring to the distance kind of miss but in the pre parenting relationship kinda miss?

I do.

I miss the uninterrupted conversations we had. The hours we could talk about anything and finish a converstaion the same day we started it.

I miss the cuddles. The times when it was just him and I in the bed. The same bed. Alone. With no elbows to the face or knees in the ribs. 

I miss the dinners or breakfasts where we spent time people watching instead of cleaning up squashed $17 avo from the floor or taking turns chasing the getaway child. 

I miss the spontaneity of deciding to go out anywhere last minute without contempting the impact it would have on the 3 hours sleep we usually get or packing the suitcase of necessities.

I miss the road trips. In the CLEAN car listening to normal music at a high volume. There’s only so much “eye spy” one can take on the freeway. 

I miss my husband. 

Just being with him. 

Focusing on him.

Focusing on us.

But then I look down at the two little people literally attached to my legs and I realise that once this stage passes too, I will miss it.

So for the next few years part time co-sleeping and half finished conversations over smashed avocado is as good as it’s going to get! 

Plus the occasional date night will get us through!

Sending you love,

MBS

xx

Becoming a mother

There is so much to be said about becoming a mum.

It’s a job.
It’s a 24/7 job.
It’s tiring.
It’s overwhelming.
It’s hard.
It’s confusing.
It’s frightening.
It’s full on.
It’s non stop.
It’s messy.
And the list goes on.

But above all it’s the best job and it’s so rewarding.

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The first thing I noticed when becoming a mummy two years ago was how everyone becomes an expert. It’s the most judgemental job in the world.

Every one is quick to tell you what you’re doing wrong, what you should be doing instead or what’s the best way to do something. Very rarely do they complement you on how well you’re doing keeping your shit together as a first time mum.  On how even though you feel like crap, probably look like crap and have no idea what to do with this little human that you’re actually doing a great job and everything is going to be OK.

That is the type of feedback we need as mothers. Especially as first time mothers. We need to support eachother not criticise. We need positive vibes not negative comments. We need to know we’re doing great even if we’re covered in vomit & poo and haven’t changed out of our pjs at 3pm.

Think about this next time you meet a mummy.

Like my mother taught me…

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

Sending you love,

MBS
xx

30 things no-one tells you

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From the minute you pee on the stick and receive a positive reading,  you know your life is about to change forever. But noone ever tells you exactly how GREAT that change will be. There may be a number of reasons for this.. and nothing will truly ever prepare you for the journey you’re about to embark on, but here’s my list of things noone tells you about pregnancy, birth and motherhood.

1. Morning sickness doesn’t just happen in the morning and it doesn’t always miraculously pass after 12 weeks. It also doesn’t just mean vomitting and sometimes if you’re super lucky it doesn’t even happen at all.

2. You will have dreams when you’re pregnant. Weird dreams. Scary dreams. Crazy dreams.

3. You may or may not have any cravings. Not even weird ones. Just none at all.

4. Heartburn is a bitch.  So is hair loss, hair growth, swollen feet, swollen hands, stretch marks, cellulite, dietary restrictions, cramps, sciatica, back pain, seat belts, weak bladder, hormones and at times just breathing in general.

5. You will never sleep comfortably again. Never. Save your money. All these pregnant pillows and gadgets won’t make a difference.

6. You will find people are rude and invasive. Maybe it’s your hormones or maybe just MAYBE you should stop touching my stomach and telling me how huge I am.

7. Your body will morph, change and do things you never thought were possible.

8. You will be tired and lazier than usual. Carrying and growing a human is hard work, plus you’ll think twice about whether or not you really need that object you dropped on the floor.

9. You will google like you have NEVER googled before.

10. You will be scared. Terrified. Frightened. Stressed. Anxious. Nervous. Alot more than usual.

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11. You will never be prepared enough for the birth. So just try and relax and go with the flow.

12. Take the drugs if you need to. Do what ever you have to to survive the process.

13. Everything will leak. Like… EVERYTHING.

14. You will cry and scream…alot  during birth.

15. You might shake uncontrollably during labour.

16. You will be poked, prodded, harassed, & violated by hundreds of different people. They’ve seen it all before so leave your dignity at the door.

17. You will have pains after the birth. In your stomach, down below, your boobs, your head, your entire body will ache. Don’t get me started on the after birth poo 🤕

18. Your stomach won’t always instantly deflate. Your body will change in someway or another forever.

19. You will want to give up. You will swear to never have another child again. But odds are you probably will.

20. You will fall in love. With your baby, with your partner and with yourself for what you’ve just achieved.  Maybe not all 3 at the same time. And maybe not all 3 instantly. But eventually.

21. You will be high in the first few days after the birth. High on life. On adrenaline. You will also be delusional and in shock, as well as weirdly happy for probably 2 days.

22. Day 3 is the worst. Sometimes day 4, 5, & 6 too. Sometimes longer. But be prepared for day 3. Your baby is adjusting to the world. To life outside the womb. To air. To food.  They will be hungry and you will most probably have no milk yet. So they will cry. And cry and cry and cry….

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23.  The only conversations you will have will be about:
-The birth
-Who the baby looks like
-When the next one is
-How tired you are
-If the baby is a ‘good baby’ (seriously)

24. You will never sleep in again. Or sleep comfortably. Or peacefully. Or just sleep in general. Therefore you will be tired.  Really effing tired.

25. You will fight with your partner. Alot. Who’s more tired, who works harder, who’s turn it is to feed/change/settle/cook/clean/shower.

26. You will feel like giving up. You will feel like you have failed. Like you’re not good enough or doing enough. You will question everything you do.

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27. You will receive “advice” from everyone. Everyone will become a parenting expert.

28. You will miss your old life. Your old self. Your own time. The silence. The freedom. The sleep. The long showers/baths. The privacy. You will finally realise how you took all these simple things for granted. Then you’ll feel guilty for feeling this way.

29. You will be forgotten. Sometimes totally. Sometimes just for a while. But people will always look for the baby before they acknowledge you.

30. You will survive. No matter how bad your day is. No matter how many times you’ve cried or screamed or lost your cool. You WILL get through it. It will be hard but it will be worth it. And even when it feels like it’s not, you will still get through it.

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You can do this mumma.

Sending you love,
MBS
Xx

Take the plunge!

Recently the hubby and I decided to celebrate US, and it was the best thing we’ve done in years.

It was our 3 year wedding anniversary and we really needed to do something to reconnect. In between him working, house renovations, family events, and life with 2 kids there’s not much time or energy left for ourselves. Our usual conversations occur between toddler tantrums, toddler demands or crying toddlers at 3am. Sure we have the occasional “date night” but that usually involves us catching up on weekly events or enjoying a delicious meal and rejoicing in the fact that there won’t be a conversation about whose turn it is to clean up or hose down the kids.

So as soon as the idea was mentioned I booked flights and accommodation immediately so that I wouldn’t change my mind. But the stress, anxiety and mum guilt still hit me hard until I landed in Melbourne a month later.

2 nights, 2.5 days.

Our kids are 2.5 and 1 years old and have never had a sleep over or left my side for more than 6 hours. There was a train load of thoughts and scenarios shooting through my head on all the ‘what ifs.’ Deep down I knew they would be in good hands ( they had my 3 page list of instructions to follow 😂😂) and probably wouldn’t even bat an eyelid at our disappearance but it didn’t help ease the stress. My husband (bless him) was the most supportive and patient he’s probably ever been. “We’re only an hour away, we can always be back in a few hours” “Do you want to cancel? Do you want to take them both or just the baby with us?” “Do you want to all drive there together instead?”

No.

We need to do this. I need to do this. We need time. I need a break.

So off we went.

The kids didn’t care. They were spoilt rotten and so were we. We splurged and enjoyed every minute of our time together .  We literally ate our way through Melbourne and felt like a couple in the first few months of dating.

We talked, we laughed, we got dressed up, we cuddled, we slept in, we raced around like tourists without a care in the world. We even got those nervous/excited butterflies in our stomach again. But most importantly we were reminded of our love. Of all the reasons we got together to begin with . That deep down under all the toys , vomit, tantrums and arguments of everyday life we’re still the same people we used to be.

It’s so easy to get angry at eachother at home . To envy the ‘life’ or things your partner does while you’re stuck in mum mode. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children and my husband but sometimes things get shitty (thanks hormones) This trip made me feel like me again. We were equal. We had the same amount of responsibility and so there were no arguments, no disagreements, no silent hints. Just pure joy and fun.

And you know what we ALL need and deserve that every once in a while. So if you’re thinking about a trip or even a night away DO IT. Stop procrastinating, don’t feel guilty, get organised and BOOK IT.
It will be the best thing you’ve done, and you will be a better mother coming back home.

Sending you love,

MBS

xx

I may be little

It may seem like yesterday that I entered this world,

All small and dainty, my fingers all curled.

It wasn’t long ago that I’d snuggle into your chest,

You may have been tired but you felt so blessed.

You blinked your eyes and time has flown by,

You’re not sure how and you don’t know why.

I may be little but because of you I’m strong,

Enjoy it all because it won’t last long.

I open and close cupboards and empty the drawers,

I crawl and roll and end up cleaning the floors.

I may be little but because of you I’m kind,

I shared all my toys but to be honest I sort of did mind.

My mind is learning new things each day,

I watch and wonder and sometimes don’t obey.

I may be little but because of you I know love,

We kiss and cuddle, you’re someone I’m proud of.

Each day I amaze you with what I can do,

It may be taking some steps or a poo in the loo.

I may be little but because of you I am ME

I am independent, determined and fierce, there’s no other way you’d rather I be.

I will always be your baby even when I am older,

So don’t worry mum  I’ll always snuggle back into your shoulder.

Sending you love,

MBS

xx

My firstborn

My dearest first born,

Thank you for being patient with me. Everything you are experiencing is new to me too.

Thank you for being the “tester” in our family. The one we learn with. The one that has tried all breastfeeding positions, all nappy/bottle/formula/wipe brands, routines and discipline strategies.

Thank you for keeping me grounded. For always reminding me of the important things in life.

Thank you for making us slow down to stop and experience life through your eyes.

Sorry for the times we let you down. For the times we didn’t understand what you needed.

Sorry for all the mistakes we have made. For all the times we thought we knew what was best, for the times we didn’t listen.

You and I have something special. We will always be on this rollercoaster ride together.

All our firsts will be experienced together and you will teach me more about life than I will ever be able to show you.

So my dearest first born,

Thank you for making me a mother. My life would not have turned out the way it has if it wasn’t for you.

Sending you love,

MBS

xx