Everyday mum. Everyday life. Everyday moments.
Let’s Talk…
ME TIME!
We all know that the realm of motherhood often takes over every aspect of your life, but it is SO important to still take care of YOU.
Taking time for yourself everyday, every week or every once in a while gives you the break you need to recharge and continue being the best parent you can be.
It may be as simple as 5 minutes every day or 5 hours out and about a month.
So, what does your “me time” look like?
Sending you love,
MBS
xx
Recently the hubby and I decided to celebrate US, and it was the best thing we’ve done in years.
It was our 3 year wedding anniversary and we really needed to do something to reconnect. In between him working, house renovations, family events, and life with 2 kids there’s not much time or energy left for ourselves. Our usual conversations occur between toddler tantrums, toddler demands or crying toddlers at 3am. Sure we have the occasional “date night” but that usually involves us catching up on weekly events or enjoying a delicious meal and rejoicing in the fact that there won’t be a conversation about whose turn it is to clean up or hose down the kids.
So as soon as the idea was mentioned I booked flights and accommodation immediately so that I wouldn’t change my mind. But the stress, anxiety and mum guilt still hit me hard until I landed in Melbourne a month later.
2 nights, 2.5 days.
Our kids are 2.5 and 1 years old and have never had a sleep over or left my side for more than 6 hours. There was a train load of thoughts and scenarios shooting through my head on all the ‘what ifs.’ Deep down I knew they would be in good hands ( they had my 3 page list of instructions to follow 😂😂) and probably wouldn’t even bat an eyelid at our disappearance but it didn’t help ease the stress. My husband (bless him) was the most supportive and patient he’s probably ever been. “We’re only an hour away, we can always be back in a few hours” “Do you want to cancel? Do you want to take them both or just the baby with us?” “Do you want to all drive there together instead?”
No.
We need to do this. I need to do this. We need time. I need a break.
So off we went.
The kids didn’t care. They were spoilt rotten and so were we. We splurged and enjoyed every minute of our time together . We literally ate our way through Melbourne and felt like a couple in the first few months of dating.
We talked, we laughed, we got dressed up, we cuddled, we slept in, we raced around like tourists without a care in the world. We even got those nervous/excited butterflies in our stomach again. But most importantly we were reminded of our love. Of all the reasons we got together to begin with . That deep down under all the toys , vomit, tantrums and arguments of everyday life we’re still the same people we used to be.
It’s so easy to get angry at eachother at home . To envy the ‘life’ or things your partner does while you’re stuck in mum mode. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children and my husband but sometimes things get shitty (thanks hormones) This trip made me feel like me again. We were equal. We had the same amount of responsibility and so there were no arguments, no disagreements, no silent hints. Just pure joy and fun.
And you know what we ALL need and deserve that every once in a while. So if you’re thinking about a trip or even a night away DO IT. Stop procrastinating, don’t feel guilty, get organised and BOOK IT.
It will be the best thing you’ve done, and you will be a better mother coming back home.
Sending you love,
MBS
xx
I, many times, since becoming a mum have preached the “self love” argument.
I truely believe it is SO important and one of the fundamental components of raising healthy children. Ultimately this is why I preach it. For my kids. I never want them to feel unloved. I never want them to hate parts of themselves. I never want them to look in the mirror and hate what they see.
And so, I preach self love and acceptance on a daily basis. (Monkey see, monkey do.)
However for ME practicing self love is easier said than done. I say it, post it, write it but deep down I don’t ultimately believe all aspects of it with myself.
Everytime I jump in the shower I look in the mirror and hate what I see.
I look at the body that literally gave life to the two kids laughing inside, or sweetly tucked into their beds and my mind starts…
YUCK.
That’s disgusting.
How fat are you?!!
Is that another roll on your stomach?
What’s that mark?
Your SO fat even your undies leave marks on you.
Your thighs are still touching!
When did your boobs get so saggy?
Look how old your face looks!
Are those wrinkles?
The light really makes your grey hair show.
And it continues….
Almost everyday this occurs.
Most days my common sense will kick in and snap me out of it.
“STOP. You gave birth and created two children from this body. If it wasn’t for what you see here they wouldn’t be alive today and your life would not be the same. You’re not 18 anymore, you’re almost 30!” Alot has changed in life since you were 18 so obviously this body has followed suit!
But it really got me thinking…. Am I alone in this battle? Am I the only one being a hypocrite about the whole “self love” movement?
On the grand scale of things I have come to accept my body and its changes but I don’t love it. And to be honest I don’t know if I ever will.
I’m not comparing it to anyone elses body. I’m not wishing I had a Kim K ass or Pamela Andersons boobs. I don’t jump on every new fitness craze and hope for a thinner waist and wider booty. I just look in the mirror and wish for my old body back. MY OWN pre mum bod. The one that wasn’t as flabby, loose or scarred.
I don’t care what others think. It’s a battle with myself. Not with other people’s opinions. You can tell me how good I look after 2 kids a thousand times a day and I won’t believe you. You can also tell me how fat I am and I won’t listen.
My battle is not with YOUR opinion of me. It’s with my OWN opinion of myself. No-one can change this but me. It’s part of MY self love journey. One I still need to work on. I may not LOVE what I see, but I LOVE what it gave me, so I have perspective. 
The term “self love” gets thrown around so often and it’s actual definition encompasses so much more than we know.
One thing I have realised is that self love means something different for each person. We all have different ways in which we show ourselves love and appreciation. The more we experience and mature in life, the more self love we develop.
“Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love is dynamic; it grows by actions that mature us.” – Deborah Khoshaba
Practicing self love can be challenging and it’s different for everyone. Some days it may be meditation, healthy eating and yoga, whereas for others it looks like binge watching TV shows in their pjs.
For some it may be saying NO and cutting ties, whereas for others it means saying YES to something new.
Whatever it looks like, whatever it is, you must make it a priority for YOU.
How do you practice “self love”?
Sending you love,
MBS
xx
